When we fill our void with someone, we temporarily fill our wounds with them and become dependent on them. We begin “needing” them. This person in our life is now needed for survival. That is a heavy burden and a lot of pressure for that person. Sometimes, we know this is a band-aid for ourContinueContinue reading “Are you Fearful in Relationships?”
Tag Archives: wellness
Healing Indecision
Lately my conversations with some of my clients have centered around indecision. Let’s explore indecision from an Internal Family Systems perspective. IFS believes your internal parts are part of an internal family. Indecision within your internal system may be a protector part, protecting you from something. When we are feeling indecisive, it means we areContinueContinue reading “Healing Indecision”
Self image issues in young women
We are currently living in a world where young girls and women are competing with a standard of beauty that is unfortunately not real. Thanks to social media filters, our definition of “beauty” has become something that actually does not exist. At the same time, we are seeing increased rates of plastic surgery, body dysmorphia,ContinueContinue reading “Self image issues in young women”
Good Enough
A belief of not being good enough is often deeply rooted in Trauma. It cannot be changed cognitively alone, through reality testing. Healing occurs through long-standing relationships where the person’s goodness is reflected back to them over and over again. For how long? Long enough for the right hemisphere to truly take it in.
Hypervigilance – a protective part
Trauma survivors often develop protective parts that help them survive their trauma. One of these parts is called the Hypervigilant part. The Hypervigilant part in Trauma survivors prevents them from spontaneously engaging in day-to-day life without triggering the “alarm system” of the brain. If this is you, start by noticing when your Hypervigilant part becomesContinueContinue reading “Hypervigilance – a protective part”
Childhood Sexual Abuse
Childhood sexual abuse is more common than we think. Perpetrators are more commonly family members, siblings, close relatives, someone the child trusts or looks up to, rather than strangers. In a research article published in the Journal of Child Sexual Abuse in 2015, Zeglin, DeRaedt, and Lanthier reported, 1 in 5 girls have experienced childhoodContinueContinue reading “Childhood Sexual Abuse”
Anxiety
I love teaching my clients unique ways to help them learn how to cope with their Anxiety. Here is one of them. On a piece of paper, list everything that is on your mind right now. Keep going. Write down all your thoughts. All the things you “have to” get done. Everything on your mindContinueContinue reading “Anxiety”
On Commitment Phobia
Commitment phobia tends to be a painful experience for both the individual engaging in the pattern and the people involved in their lives. There is often a sense of push/pull in these “relationships”. The root cause has to do with the family of origin survival patterns. Both men and women can suffer from commitment phobia.ContinueContinue reading “On Commitment Phobia”
CBT 101
According to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), the following cognitive distortions affect our cognitions, emotions, and behaviours: All or Nothing Thinking or Black and White Thinking – eg. “Either I do it right/perfectly, or not at all.”Mental Filter – only paying attention to our failures, not our successesJumping to conclusions – knowing with certainty what othersContinueContinue reading “CBT 101”
Inter-dependence
The Individualist ideology heavily reinforces the concept of independence. The term is often used within the context of empowerment and self-reliance. While becoming independent may be an important next step in our journey, from dependence or victimization, it is important to recognize this step as a pit stop, rather than the finish line. And ifContinueContinue reading “Inter-dependence”
Your Healing Journey Counselling 